Well tonight was the end of IM flag football season. Signing off as captain of my team. We made it to the championship game and lost it. My bad...shoot. Bad play calling. But gotta give props to my team. Played hard throughout the season and got this far. Great season.
I realized that this season was more than just football. Being a captain meant that I was the leader. I didn't really understand what it really meant to be captain of a team since I guess this was my first time. I had to lead my team towards the right direction. That direction is winning. Yeah we won a few games and such but our ultimate goal was to win championship and get on the wall and get that cool T-shirt. I gotta say it really really sucks having this feeling of losing when you were so close. Dang.
Last night before the game I thought quite a lot about my team. When being captain you don't really care about how much work you do. You are just doing whatever you can towards that one goal. I realized that I had to go through a captain's meeting, call the IM office, pay the fee, try changing the dates of two games but failing, getting on my bike at 2:45pm before every game and calling everyone to tell them to hurry up, making sure people are going to actually be at the game, make sure we had enough players, check the rainy day report, rush back from home home to make the game on time, tell people to wear a certain color and bring another color just in case, bring my football to the games, tell the team what to do in the huddle, pep talks, pump up the team, think of football plays during chemistry...and more!
Yeah the list may be long but I don't care! I'm definitely not bragging or anything but I'm just saying that there is so much responsibility and I don't mind that at all as long as we are winning and everyone is happy. Sorry for getting upset and yelling sometimes. But wow. Being a leader in general takes so much responsbility and I have so much to learn. I don't want to be just a leader over some football team but I want to be able to be a leader in general. Be able to put aside the nitty bitty details and just do stuff. Don't count the things like "Oh I did this already so you should do this" but just step up and be a leader. College is definitely a place to learn and to grow.
Dang but this game meant a lot to my team. I know how badly they all wanted to win. Seeing the look in their eyes when the final seconds of the game were ticking down it just struck me. It's my fault. I failed to achieve the goal that we were all looking forward. Dang...shoot. Not sure how to express my feelings right now. Basically pretty darn bummed out. Ha
Losing something in general is hard. For me at least I just like to think about it. What it could have been and how things could be improved. What needs fixing and just look over the situation as a whole and try again. It is unfortunate that there are some situations where there are no second chances. But honestly what can you do? There are those things which are just out of your grasp so all you can honestly do is hope. Dang but don't give up shoot no matter however crazy the situation looks and you feel like throwing in the towel. Hang in there
a small addition because of certain events...
I just want to say I am sorry. I let my pride get in the way. I don't really realize the truth until I humble myself and take a step back and examine myself. It's not you it's me. I was wrong. I honestly need change
2 comments:
HI JASON I DIDN'T READ THIS PARTICULAR POST BUT THANKS FOR THE NOV SHOUTOUT, "one girl leaving for nyu that afternoon." thanks thanks. also I remember that day you got into davis ... because you manipulated spencer and I into thinking you didn't and I was depressed on your behalf for days, thanks jerk.
yeah. it sucks to lose. but i didn't know that you were the captain. i thought you were just the QB
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