Came to My Rescue

Hillsong United - Came to My Rescue

I called.
You answered.
And You came to my rescue and I,
I want to be where You are.


It is not news that there is hurt in everybody's lives.

The real question is.
Who do you turn to?

All of us need to be rescued.

BAAYF 2009

8/2/09 to 8/7/09

First year at this camp. Theme of this year was redemption.

Before camp I had no idea of what to expect. Never been to this camp and also I have never been a counselor either. What does it mean to be a counselor? What are the responsibilities? What makes me qualified? I had no idea how my campers would react to me. Would my campers like me? Would they listen to me? Would problems from my personal life affect me?

The car ride there seemed like it was forever. The questions I listed above circled in my mind.
When I arrived it was a totally new scene. A new campground. New people.
I put on my backpack and carried my luggage. Walking slow and surveying the area I have to admit that I was pretty intimidated. I laid down all my stuff in the luggage area and went to go check in. I received my name tag booklet and my camper list. I looked on the list and spotted a familiar name. Marc Chew. He was my co-counselor and with that I felt a little bit relieved. At least I would be counseling with someone that I knew. And I looked at the name of my campers and saw two familiar names but the other four were completely new kids. I guess our church van came early even though it was 4 o clock and it was recommended that we arrive at 3. I went up to my cabin which was pretty confusing to find at first. I had no idea where anything was. I just walked up a trail and asked one of the staff to direct me towards the area. My cabin was Birdland 18. I heard it was the worst area to live in since other cabins at the campsite were hecka nice. Birdland was reserved for junior high boys and the counselors. I walked up the hill and found my cabin. Hummingbird 18. It was a lot smaller than I expected. I opened the door and the cabin had two doors splitting the cabin into halves. I was wondering if I should choose side A or B. I thought I would be in A since I am an A student (just kidding). I found my lower bunk. The room was a little small and smelled funky but livable conditions. I went down to the registration area and saw my church kids. They kept on telling me to go find my campers. I went back and forth probably twice to see if any of the other campers arrived but they did not. I wore my red name tag which noted that I was a counselor. It was a pretty awesome feeling. It wasn't the feeling of superiority or being in control, it was more of that campers would ask questions where things were and what time were events where I would help them out only if I knew. Haha. I went around exploring the camp. The lounge was the area where there were plenty of comfy couches and mainly people just hanging out and playing card games. I saw familiar faces that went to Monta Vista and plenty of new faces. This was basically my first day. I had no idea what to do. Where to go. When it was dinner time I found out that the lines are super long because of 300 something campers.

This is my second huge camp that I have went to which includes a bunch of other churches around the area. Everyone is in their own little cliques at first when they first arrive at camp. For me at least I found it a little intimidating meeting new people right at the beginning because I was afraid that they would just think I was weird for coming right up to them and saying whatsup. But thank God that my campers who were in my cabin were not scared of me. I had one camper on my side of the cabin who was going to be an 8th grader while the other two were going to be freshmen in high school. One kid really loves TACO BELL and would non stop talk about tacos and relate things somehow to tacos. The other was really quiet and would be the first person to always sleep. The last one was 5' 11 and this is the kid going to only 8th grade! 2 inches shorter than me! Wow. So during lights out I would always be the last person to be in the cabin because I would take a shower for a super long time. I had this one shower all the way on the left which I would always use. I had this routine going on every single night. Shower, brush my teeth, take off my contacts all in that one stall. I could tell that the week was flying by by how fast it felt when I returned to the shower. Do you get what that means? I hope I worded it in a way that it makes sense.

Well the schedule for me basically broke down to this at camp.

Wake up at 7:30
Wash up
Breakfast at 8:00
Morning Worship at 8:45
Devotions at 9:30 (usually I would just lay on my bed and ACCIDENTALLY fall asleep)
Have Marc wake me up IF I fell asleep for Bible Study in the lounge at 10:00
Mandatory Rec at 11:00
Lunch at 12:30
Go to cabin and sleep during seminar! :) Till 1:30
Marc comes to cabin to wake me up for counselor meeting at 2:45
Free time till 6:00
Dinner
Evening Session at 7:00
Small Groups at 9:15ish in the lounge
Shower at 10:30
Lights out at 11:00

Yup here is my schedule with some exceptions here and there.

One awesome thing that I gained from camp is my new love for the youth. Some people know this. I used to work at Kumon. Those little kids that I worked with annoyed the heck out of me and made the job really miserable and I never wanted to work with kids again. I somehow got myself into working with the youth here at this camp. I saw them completely differently than I did at Kumon. I guess it was due to the fact that some of the kids were able to open up and be vulnerable with whatever problems that they were having or just sharing praises. Singing with 300+ people in the room is awesome. The passion that I see in junior high kids and high schoolers. Crazy stuff happens when God moves. It was amazing to see God moving in the youth. I know that when I was young I would always be afraid of moving past my comfort zone because I thought I was young and therefore not opening up. How I would answer questions that Counselors would ask me would be: yes, no, i dont know, good.

The bottom line is. When you pray. Great things happen. Counselors would be always praying in the back during evening session in shifts. Prayer is real and it works. Try it. Nothing fancy. No structure you have to follow. No specific words you have to say. No right or wrong. Just a chat with the Father about whatever is going on in your mind.

I am tired. I am going to take a rest from writing this at the moment. I shall update it and add more later. :)

Retreat

Retreat was from the 15th of July to the 18th. Quite a while back. I was planning on writing about it way earlier because the details were fresh in my mind but I decided that who cares about the details anyways? Lets see what actually stuck to me and has a lasting influence.

The speaker was some dude who actually has his church over here in Cupertino. He shared his life story and it has been a pretty crazy journey for him. Death of two of his children, and other crazy stuff that I don't remember. He also shared how expressing yourselves to God through a poem is a unique and intimate way of talking to God. Just like how King David was able to relate and tell God his sufferings, joys and whatever was going on through poems as seen in the book of Psalms.

So what I thought about this whole poem thing? Well first to be honest I was super tired during the sermons as I would struggle to keep my eyes open. I have been feeling very tired lately even though I have decent hours of sleep. Maybe I have a sickness. Uh Oh. But anyways, I had no idea how to write this poem but I thought I had something on my mind that I could be able to express through poetry. However I tried to avoid this as much as possible.

So there is this annual basketball tournament that we have where it is 3 on 3 basketball. Me and two small wimpy dudes were a team but we won. It was because I was dunking. Haha just kidddddddding. No but seriously we did win the tournament. Afterwards it was basically time to write our poems. I did not want to do this. So I wandered around and remembered that there was a blood drive going on. I went to go check it out to waste a bit of time. Some people there pressured me in giving blood so I signed myself up. At first I was pretty darn scared. I remember Michael Scott passing out and waking up to only find a glove but they do give out free cookies! But I filled up that little blood bag super fast and I found out that I have good veins and awesome hemoglobin levels!

There came the first time to share poems. I did not even start. I thought I could write one during the sharing of the other poems but I was wrong. The other poems were so heartfelt and pretty darn emotional. It was crazy. Then came the next morning. This was when I got scared because I seriously thought that EVERYONE had to share their poem and I had nothing so I had to frantically write one. I started it during my devotion time. I didn't rush in to it because I had no idea what to write about but I calmed myself down and prayed. Although there may be pain and sorrow in life but God fills my life with joy and happiness. I wrote a pretty sadness filled 3/4 of the poem but the rest was to say that there is hope that comes from God. Can you believe it? I wrote the majority of my poem during worship time. Haha. When it came time to share the poems with the whole congregation I was pretty unsure at first. I thought to myself, why would I want to share? Nothing special about it, it is just something from me to God. No one needs to know about it. Well something inside of me told me to share so I did. People who went before and after me had really emotional ones and it was just very emotional in that room with people crying and things like that. I didn't cry though. I also didn't cry when sharing my poem. But what I felt when sharing it was something inside of me that was kind of making me want to cry. But I had to slightly sway side to side and keep on reading. I didn't want to. I felt like I have gone through this for so long that my emotions are just dead from it. When finished I just sat down and I felt free. Free that I was able to share to the congregation about my struggles and burden that they were able to hear it and just the fact of them knowing is already so comforting. We are one big body of Christ and one united fellowship. Hearing other people and seeing their faith and struggles was encouraging and humbling.

If you want to read my poem I would be happy to share it. Just mention it and I can send it to you. I don't want to post it up publicly because well...just ask.

That was then. How about now? Things change. I did not think things would change so fast. Or new things would come into my life which are unexpected. I feel like I am even more super confused now then I was before but thats okay. No matter how hard it is there is a future planned for me. A hope. God I trust in. Better things are planned for me through good intentions not to harm me. I may not see situations as purposeful and neither may others. But have faith.

I thought of a metaphor of being confused.
I am a pokemon and drowsy just confused me. Hahaha. Wow.

But seriously. This world is filled with so many broken people. Some hide it well. Some don't. Some talk it out. Some keep it inside of them. Some cry. Some smile.
A wise friend once told me but I will put it in simpler terms.
For these people who are hurt, are in sorrow, are in pain. Just listen and love them.

My heart goes out for you. Hearing what you say has broken my heart. Sadness fills your eyes as enthusiasm in your voice has gone. What can I say in response? What do I do to cheer you up? I can't think of anything. I breathe deeply and can't even imagine what may be running in your mind. Who can heal the broken? Who can give strength to the weary? Not I. Leave this job to a healer, leave it to the strong. Who on this world fits these? No one. Who cares about the pain that you experience through life? Why do people always seem to let us down? How come those who said they would always be there for us disappoint and abandon us? What do I do now with my life? Where do I look for comfort? WHO LOVES ME?

Fix your eyes upon the cross and marvel at the wondrous love.

Sweetly Broken

I was trying to figure out the name of this song so I could listen to it again. It's called Sweetly Broken by Jeremy Riddle. I first heard it during Sunday service back in Davis and I only knew words here and there in the chorus. I knew sweetly and surrendered. It was impossible to find. But randomly one day as I was about to go to sleep I was wondering about surrender and thought of the phrase wholly surrendered. I wasn't exactly sure what it meant so I searched it on google. And one of the search results was lyrics for this song! :)

At the cross You beckon me
Draw me gently to my knees
And I am lost for words so lost in love
I'm sweetly broken, wholly surrendered




Came back from retreat. Perhaps I will write about that

piano man

i am not the piano man. but i do play piano! :)

since summer started i have to this day still nothing to do. so i have been playing piano quite a lot.
i like how i play and want to play when my parents dont tell me to practice.
maybe it is just song choice

i finally took out my webcam that i had packed away in boxes and used it for my laptop to skype the wonder twins in india. after the lame chat. i decided to record myself

river flows in you by yiruma. i have a mp3 version of this that i recorded early in the summer and now this video is proof that i actually did play it






as you can see that is me.
great playing huh? so beautiful and smooth. good pause for page turns and good posture for my hands. i should become a music major

what i thought of which is cool is that whoever may watch this video and see this text should then go and record themselves playing a piece. and then it can be an ongoing cycle and then we can have piano duels. (i'm calling you out katherine hu) that would be exciting

i'm not sure what i am talking about. i'm super tired from this training camp overnighter that i had in san francisco for this youth camp that i will be a counselor in august.

on the way back on 280. i asked marc.
me: "if i made my car drive off the cliff what would you do"
marc: "i would look at you and laugh"

Coincidence? I think not

How people are placed in each individuals lives is a mystery.
How people live in that specific area at that specific time and meet that specific person.
How events occur like they do and results end up like they do.
Look back in your past and see everything that made you where you are today is impossible.
Everything is so perfectly placed together and complex.

Me and a friend talked about this yesterday. Where our friendship started and how it progressed. We both could have never guessed that we would end up talking about what we did at that moment.

Perfect timing.
Reason.
Purpose.

You make all things work together for my good

Laminin

Many of you will look at the title of this post and wonder. "What the heck does that mean?"
Well my friends. This doesnt mean anything. It is a name of something.

Laminin is the name of a protein in the human body which basically holds up the body together.
Here is a picture of Laminin.
Pretty crazy huh?
I was introduced to this by a speaker called Louie Giglio in his sermon titled "How Great Is Our God" in his Passion Talk series DVD that one of my friend lent to me.
I was pretty amazed and stunned. How cool is that? A cross shaped cell in your body that essentially holds everything together.
The speaker related this to how many times in our lives we feel like we have no hope and that God left our side. But here is REAL proof that God is with us all the time. He is in us. We look at ourselves and we can see that God truly holds us together.
Colossians 1:17
¹⁷He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.
Dang dude how crazy is that. I was shocked and stunned and going nuts! Whether it be coincidence or whatever you think of it I don't care! THATS SOOO COOL. Dang dude.
But look towards the cross when you think you cant take a step more. He will give you strength so you can keep on going.
All who are thirsty
All who are weak
Just come to the fountain
Dip your heart in the stream of life
Let the pain and the sorrow
Be washed away...

God Loves You